a little bit of reality

Japan. Was fun..

Ummmmm…. We rekindled our broken friendship.

Gave way to no beginnings.

Ate like kings every day ( I know I did)

Most girls got chased or harassed in some way.

Grils where crying over the boys…

Pretty fun.

The sad thing is that I Couldn’t remember a Name of any place that we went. I drew complete blanks when asked “ where did you go?”

A temple, a Mall. And building of some sort.. was pretty.

“ you where in japan and didn’t bother to remember anything”..

Its not that simple/. I have a very bad memory..

Also explains why I can’t just date ppl off the bat.

I would have to go to that temple at least 10 times. To know its name. And I would have to be told repeatly.

Even though I was on the Subway-train and Bus. I had no Idea where we were going, what the stop names where or even the name of the stations.

(note: I learned Nagoya station because….well. DUH!!)

I am just saying this because people are getting wierded out by my…

“ how was Japan Janelle”

“ Oh it was okay>”

Then the turn their heads and look at me starnge..

“ Only okay”..

Yup.

I didn’t have an overwhelming feeling. I was alittle too distracted.

The boys where cute, the food was great. It was awesome.

But being in japan. Well It’s pretty much the schools fault for keeping us Inside all the time. And not letting us experience it for ourselves.

( I just remembered).. we fit 7 people into a taxi. And the driver was a bit skeptical.

May already.

So I am going to the Anime Convention “ Anime North”.. yya…….y!… Why? Don’t really know.

Not into anime that much anymore.

Damn reality!

Oh , no more bad things for Janelle… nope nope.
You know what. Its hard not understanding why people don’t find me attractive..

“ Your like a sister to me”

“your one of the guys”

“ You’re a bit to Eccentric”

then when I change thatthose little things that they siad…. They say

“Not my type”

“ Just no.”

“ it would damage our relationship as friends…”

Then I say..” Who cut your balls off?”

Its really bad when I have to ask that but what the hell?..

Grow a back bone and be a man. Tell me staright up… Too ugly. Weird. Crazy.

Man I changed myself so much, not just for me, but to make myself a bit more mentally/physically attractive. Well Apparently it doesn’t work..

Off goes the hair. Here come to piercing, and screw you.

I will look like a lesbian all I want.lol.

I am just so tired of it all. I try and try and try. Do you care. Hells no. but I am not angry right now. Just stating a fact.

*need to see Beth upstairs… need to talk have social English interaction/…*

mew.

Any way..

I can’t date men, randomly. Because I do not know them. And I can’t date women now, because they are too young..

So, either try to get back with Alex ( never going to happen) or wait a couple years.. this sucks.

Why/..

I need to get to know some more men.. that’s why.