WOW so many things, so many stories to tell.. i need music.. nah, yes...nah.. man hard decisions.. One sec...
Back
lol.
Okay, so first things first. This morning, I stood and waited for the beautiful kitty we all know and love with her Jonah Kun... oh Jonah Kun... He gave hugs and made me better but i am getting ahead of myself. We waited, she didn’t show.. all was well. but fan girls did come hither to my bosom once more lol.
In class today, i was on edge, i was happy though, i got a 99.86% on my Math Mid-term! AWSOME EH?...ya i am happy. but when I stepped into English, I was angry, no reason.. on edge.. Pissed... we were reading Othello, at the part were Othello catches Desdemona talking to Cassio and Iago manipulating the situation with lies. But when the teacher asked me to explain why it was significant that Othello caught Desdemona and Cassio talking, Pedro answered with me, and i got mad.. very mad.. MAD ENOUGHTO PUNCH HIM, which i did.. Adrenalin is something, it rushed threw me, i pulled out a piece of paper, Ignoring the teacher and everyone around me and started drawing, and drawing is what i do best when i am inspired by a jolt of anger. After that though, i got mad at someone who didn’t deserve the wrath i was experiencing over nothing. I snapped. I am not sorry, Am i ever?..maybe..
On the bus today, before my and Philips discussion of the morals, we were talking about how " that’s so gay" isn’t proper to say because non living objects do not have a sexual orientation as far as i know. SO Philip how funny he is, quoted his friend and said “the next time someone says that so gay, we should say that’s so black" to show the stupidity of the statement that the saying is false and wrong. SO I added in my own thingy. “ what about That’s so Nigger”..
Then the looks came, 3 of color, and 1 white, 1 black,- but not shocked, but with smiles. The looked at me to say;
“OH MY GOD, what did she just say???”
“Can she say that?”
“Who does she think she is?”
“She is going to get her ass kicked”
So they stopped staring and with their questioning eyes when they realized I was half black/native. I Have rights over that word eh? Well duh. I was proving a point in my retrospect.
On another note, me and Philip where talking on the bus, which we always do when the busses seem to catch us both. We talked about morals, we talked about why, and why to parents and why to why?.. so after a while, Philip is right about to get off the bus, when a nice woman adds her opinion on how “ we are very interesting and our thoughts aloud are what kids should be thinking”.. I was
Proud, and I think Philip is too. Hopefully.
That one person, out of our 100’s of conversations took the time to listen rather then to ignore. Thank you Ma’am. You made my day..
So did you Jonah, that you, I needed a hug from someone who wasn’t a fan boy or fan girl, I needed a really related friend kind of hug. That made me feel better, I am glad you and Kitty are one. I am very happy for you; I hope it all goes well.
On that topic… heh heh heh, you guys hugging and nuzzling was just so cute I giggled, so adorable. Like a cat and a wolf, who love each other. You have what you asked for, response.
__________________________________
Back
lol.
Okay, so first things first. This morning, I stood and waited for the beautiful kitty we all know and love with her Jonah Kun... oh Jonah Kun... He gave hugs and made me better but i am getting ahead of myself. We waited, she didn’t show.. all was well. but fan girls did come hither to my bosom once more lol.
In class today, i was on edge, i was happy though, i got a 99.86% on my Math Mid-term! AWSOME EH?...ya i am happy. but when I stepped into English, I was angry, no reason.. on edge.. Pissed... we were reading Othello, at the part were Othello catches Desdemona talking to Cassio and Iago manipulating the situation with lies. But when the teacher asked me to explain why it was significant that Othello caught Desdemona and Cassio talking, Pedro answered with me, and i got mad.. very mad.. MAD ENOUGHTO PUNCH HIM, which i did.. Adrenalin is something, it rushed threw me, i pulled out a piece of paper, Ignoring the teacher and everyone around me and started drawing, and drawing is what i do best when i am inspired by a jolt of anger. After that though, i got mad at someone who didn’t deserve the wrath i was experiencing over nothing. I snapped. I am not sorry, Am i ever?..maybe..
On the bus today, before my and Philips discussion of the morals, we were talking about how " that’s so gay" isn’t proper to say because non living objects do not have a sexual orientation as far as i know. SO Philip how funny he is, quoted his friend and said “the next time someone says that so gay, we should say that’s so black" to show the stupidity of the statement that the saying is false and wrong. SO I added in my own thingy. “ what about That’s so Nigger”..
Then the looks came, 3 of color, and 1 white, 1 black,- but not shocked, but with smiles. The looked at me to say;
“OH MY GOD, what did she just say???”
“Can she say that?”
“Who does she think she is?”
“She is going to get her ass kicked”
So they stopped staring and with their questioning eyes when they realized I was half black/native. I Have rights over that word eh? Well duh. I was proving a point in my retrospect.
On another note, me and Philip where talking on the bus, which we always do when the busses seem to catch us both. We talked about morals, we talked about why, and why to parents and why to why?.. so after a while, Philip is right about to get off the bus, when a nice woman adds her opinion on how “ we are very interesting and our thoughts aloud are what kids should be thinking”.. I was
Proud, and I think Philip is too. Hopefully.
That one person, out of our 100’s of conversations took the time to listen rather then to ignore. Thank you Ma’am. You made my day..
So did you Jonah, that you, I needed a hug from someone who wasn’t a fan boy or fan girl, I needed a really related friend kind of hug. That made me feel better, I am glad you and Kitty are one. I am very happy for you; I hope it all goes well.
On that topic… heh heh heh, you guys hugging and nuzzling was just so cute I giggled, so adorable. Like a cat and a wolf, who love each other. You have what you asked for, response.
__________________________________
Does it bother you??? Question.. me please.
Do I bother you?
When I bag for acknowledgment? Is it bagging, or do I just want the same thing that I give you.
Unconditional Acknowledgment..
Craig, JJ, Pedro.
Why ignore me?
Am I crazy?
Do I intimidate you?
Do I make you uncomfortable?..
but isn’t that what you guys are?
What we are the same but different..
Different
Complicated
Distracted
Dramatic
Involved
Am I that one person you hate for no reason?
I just want to know, Like Audrey and Meghan want to know why I hate them, I told them my reasons, it wasn’t enough. I Just.. Want to know from you.. it will be enough
I am not greedy..
“I am not sorry. Because to be sorry would be madness, I am, I tell you what I am, I am bemused at what has happened to me, because I signified at one time.”
A quote from a monologue I did in drama about 2 weeks ago. I yelled, I placed emotion where there was none; I gave one HELL of a performance. But now it makes sense when it didn’t.
I am in a really good mood now, I want to talk to Alex too, but I am writing this. Oh how I love him! I love you! You make me so happy.
Cliché? No, truths don’t hide under what has already been said; rather keep it in mind before you forget it!
I justify everything that bugs me… everything. I justify not eating when I have no money because its not my fault..
I justify not putting on make up when I see adults even though I don’t care what people think…
Am I am hypocrite?>..
Why does Paul make me so angry?>
Does JD really have a soul?
Do purple people deserve to die just because of there color?... no
"If I stopped nothing, cared for never ever, held onto nothing but time. Would I finaly be able to cry?" --Janelle Niles
Do I bother you?
When I bag for acknowledgment? Is it bagging, or do I just want the same thing that I give you.
Unconditional Acknowledgment..
Craig, JJ, Pedro.
Why ignore me?
Am I crazy?
Do I intimidate you?
Do I make you uncomfortable?..
but isn’t that what you guys are?
What we are the same but different..
Different
Complicated
Distracted
Dramatic
Involved
Am I that one person you hate for no reason?
I just want to know, Like Audrey and Meghan want to know why I hate them, I told them my reasons, it wasn’t enough. I Just.. Want to know from you.. it will be enough
I am not greedy..
“I am not sorry. Because to be sorry would be madness, I am, I tell you what I am, I am bemused at what has happened to me, because I signified at one time.”
A quote from a monologue I did in drama about 2 weeks ago. I yelled, I placed emotion where there was none; I gave one HELL of a performance. But now it makes sense when it didn’t.
I am in a really good mood now, I want to talk to Alex too, but I am writing this. Oh how I love him! I love you! You make me so happy.
Cliché? No, truths don’t hide under what has already been said; rather keep it in mind before you forget it!
I justify everything that bugs me… everything. I justify not eating when I have no money because its not my fault..
I justify not putting on make up when I see adults even though I don’t care what people think…
Am I am hypocrite?>..
Why does Paul make me so angry?>
Does JD really have a soul?
Do purple people deserve to die just because of there color?... no
"If I stopped nothing, cared for never ever, held onto nothing but time. Would I finaly be able to cry?" --Janelle Niles
2 comments:
I am so goddamn happy I can't even quantify or rationalize it, and a fair part of it is thanks to you, so Thank You, because you did what no one else would do unless I forced them to - take me seriously.
Wakarimashita!
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