Damn this Headache!

I have an eye appointment today, I made her laugh because I was being stupid again, oh well. Life goes on. I am so thirsty, singing my mouth off. My lungs are taking a beating. The nightmare musical.

I have this headache still, it’s been like this for a couple of days. I don’t want to take anything for it because Jilleen my twin and my mom will say " she is on drugs".. Anything to make them feel better about themselves even though it’s not true.

This morning I was arguing the relationship theory I have when you’re in high school. How you think your in love but your not, how you date your friends because they are there so why not?.. What the hell. And why should I care? Because you’re dating my friends, you’re making my friend miserable, you’re making my friends sad and tricking them. That’s why I care. I should really, but when it effects my fan girls and fan boys, then I am a mother to her cubs. I tried to tell you and; ‘I told you so’ was the best thing I could have ever said.

" You Don’t know what your talking about"
" You think you know everything!"
" Why can’t you just shutup"
"Keep your opinions to yourself!"
"Your to Over dramatic"

Man, I get hit with these on a daily basis, and so is all the other phrases and questions in red or white. It’s what I hear all the time..

"Just Keep your mouth shut"

Why should I?
To conform to your equilibrium of nothing.

1.Get up in the morning

2.Eat breakfast I was to lazy to make myself

3.Go to school with the same thing everyone else’s is warring while looking like a billboard outside.

4. Smoke before class

5.Get high marks

6.Make fun of the teacher

7.Get lunch with people who aren’t my fiends, they just hate me inside

8.Yell at the teacher because what I am learning I already know

9.Make fun of losers and loners

10.Feel better about myself

11.Go home on bus with same people, talk about nothing

12.Eat supper and yell at parents for loving me to much

13.Cry myself to sleep.

Sounds familiar? Maybe could just be your subconscious screaming to be let out again! Dark cold room with no real friends, no real kiss, no real smiles. All fake, stolen from TV radio and Mp3 player.
Why can’t people think for themselves?… not like asking for advice, no taking it. Not asking for it.

" Your and idiot" and believing it.

" I am your girlfriend" and following along..

Ring some bells?

I wasn’t able to move my stuff yesterday, my ride was closing his store! Damn, I got like 3 days left. I have no money for my trip, I have no money for food or shampoo. But Issues are issues eh? They just don’t go away.
I ask some times, most of the time.
" Why do I deserve this?" asking something that’s not there. Asking nothing, waiting for an answer! Its true, I don’t deserve this, but who is going to make that right?

Myself? Hard work, Determination. We all now that doesn’t work! Just makes it harder. What works is winning the lottery! MONEY MAKES ME HAPPY!. So there! Lets win the lottery together, travel the world, build our house. Have fun! Let all my back issues, and your issues fall off our shoulders and leave them all behind… It makes me feel better, so much better.

On another note.

My teeth hurt, my head hurts, and I am pretty sure my health sucks….

On another note note.

I want to go to bed.

Alex, you want to stay in Hamilton for Christmas, Wisk me away from Ottawa, you and me, together. A little tree, little presents little kisses? Awwwe so sweet, I would love to! Take me away, think of nothing and care only for you.

I want to travel the world with you, Climb Mountains, camp in the snow, hold hands down the busiest street in Tokyo! Build our own little house together, ware slippers, make sushi, listen to the thunder and watch movies. Dance the night away, drink tell we can’t stand. Drag me away from the computer and goat it all night!
Wow, my dreams are awesome!

Wait wait wiat wait…

Am I over thinking?… is that why my head hurts?.. Am I to stressed out?… Do I really need a brake. Let me know, I wont tell myself to.I am to independent, to devoted to my own little morals. I need someone to place their hands on my shoulders and sit me down, tell me they will make it all better when they wont.
I need a hug!

It’s cold.

I wait for your call, are you okay?