I met them, and what did they say...nothing at all

I am meeting Alex’s parents today. For the first time. I don’t know if I should really care at all what they think… but I should eh? Because that’s what’s expected.

Arrg, I am a hypocrite.

I will care, no matter how much I will tell you I wont.I wont act on it, so it looks like I don’t care. But I do. When it’s important..

Mom saying to me “ you look like an animal” .. I don’t care.

Alex’s mom saying “ you look like an animal” I will hang my head disappointment.

Maybe it’s just me. I don’t understand half of what the feeling of “ caring what people say” is. For the longest time I was told to be Racist, sexist and homophobic. I didn’t listen. But when Alex’s parents tell me that I am to Rebellious, eccentric and weird. Why does it feel like I should listen to them>>???? 5 hours and we will see what happens.

Recently I have been getting into arguments with my saying “Physical actions” Now if you don’t know what that means its me Moving speaking and blinking. Because:

Its MY OWN FUCKING BODY!

Now, My twin likes to say those things I can’t stand..“ you don’t have the right”

“ You can’t say that”

“ you can’t do that”

“ How can you say that”

you know, Pet peeves. Sooooooo I yelled at her, lovingly

EVEN THOUGH YOU DEMAND THOSE THINGS AND EXPECT ME TOP OPAY DOESN’T EXCUSE THE PHYCIAL ACTION OF MY DOING SOMETHING!!

So I mean, you can tell me not or say I can’t say those things, but my moth is still moving

I can still move the cup if its illegal, nothing is stopping me..

Morals?.. so what…ethnics….who cares?

Who cares?..someone does, so. in my own mind, do I have the right to say that, even thought I blindly said it with out thinking about who would really care..

And Do I care about those things….no.. Bring it on..

I got everything I wanted for Christmas except gackt.

Oh well. I have Alex. Wish me luck on meeting his parents.

So, Jonah and Laura. Kiss much?...

Lets see, I have hardly to no money and I still ..need/might half to../ obligated to get Christmas presents to people.

Jonah – luara : Callers and tagsAlex:….(still hasn’t decided)

Lindsay kun; Samurai champloo 5 or 1 GB flash drive

Philip:………………………………><…………..don’t have the slightest idea. MOM;..a fucking lamp Amz:………..you will see. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm well anyone else can go fuck themselves. I have no intention on spending my money of anyone who isn’t my Good friend.

Last year, I had money, I had a nice job. I had a chance to have money, i had a good income and a place to stay with no one pushing me out or moving soon or paying a HUGE amount of rent. I had at least 500 to spend on what ever I wanted ..
Now I have a good…40$...bad…

Life fuckign sucks..

“ get a job Janelle”

…okay, I have something to say to that.

1. It’s very easy to say “get a job” when you never had one eh?....14 year olds.

2. The resume isn’t up to date I should work on it. But all my references are gone.

3. My hair/ my future lip ring/ my personality
If I get a job, my student welfare will be cut off and what I make at this future job might not even be enough to live off of, so I might half two get 2 jobs…

4. School for fuck sakes, I haven’t had such great marks since last year when I was living under my moms roof. Now WHY WILL I SCREW UP MY CHANCE ON GETTING INTO A UNIVERSITY OR COLLAGE JUST BECAUSE YOU, YA I MEAN YOU SAID TO GET “ a job” when I can sit on my ass and get high marks in school?.. like you

So in conclution, I can’t get a job. Not tell summer. And for me to get a job that balances everything out and doesn’t STRESS ME TO DEATH would to get a $23/hour job working with NO ONE and sitting ont the COMPUTER filing or managing states, maybe even a secretary job. That only makes me work 15 hours a week.

23/h x 15 = 345$/week gross345 x 4 = 1308$/month gross

1308 x .14 =193.20/ tax
1308 – 193.20 = 1114.80$/ a month give or take because of other tax’s I will half to pay.

Awsome eh? Am I being greedy?

Hell no, fuck you!

I have a 1500 visa Bill to pay off!I have a 100 Phone bill to pay!

I have food to buy! Unlike YOU I HARDLY GET 2 MEALS A DAY Living on my own.

I have bank fees and paying back people I owe. I have so much..so fucking much!

Its stressful..It’s also hard to explain myself every time too!

** listening to gackt**

--------------------------------- 8 hours later.

I am back, it was weird… they didn’t ask me questions… no questions..

Like I wasn’t there at all.

Wow, that’s something eh?

What should I do, just let them get warmed up by me? Am I too weird for their son? Was I not what the thought?

Did they think I was my twin sister?

Why won’t Youtube refresh to new videos WHY?!?! Arrg.

Its late, I need sleep.

ja ne!